The Savior Showed Compassion
I
love to read the stories of Peter in the New Testament. He showed enduring
commitment striding with imprudent impetuosity. His faithfulness kept pace with
his overzealousness. As the events of his life unfold in the scriptures, I see
a person yearning to follow the Savior and willing to accept the refinement
offered by Him. One particular episode exhibits Peter’s exuberance and demonstrates
Christ’s compassion.
Jesus
was preaching in Nazareth, His hometown. The people were “astonished” at His “wisdom”
and “mighty works” because they saw Him as nothing more than another child in
the neighborhood. Rather than being impressed by the growth, maturity, and
spirituality of “the carpenter’s son,” they were “offended” by Him. Consequently,
the Savior “did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief.”[1]
While
being misjudged by the hometown crowd, Jesus received devastating news that
broke his heart. John the Baptist had been beheaded by the order of Herod. Jesus
sought solitude and “departed thence by a ship into a desert place apart.” When
people learned of His whereabouts they “followed him on foot out of the cities.”[2] Although
this was a time of grief for the Savior, when He saw the multitude He “was
moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick” and miraculously
provided food for the crowd of more than 5000 (Matthew 14:14). At this point in
the story, Jesus sent the twelve apostles ahead in a ship while He dismissed the
multitude. Afterward, the Savior again sought a moment of private prayer in a
mountain. By the “fourth watch of the night” (sometime between 4:00 and 6:00
am) the Savior came walking on the water to the ship, which was “tossed with
waves: for the wind was contrary.”[3]
Here is the part of the story where a grief-stricken Christ showed compassion
in Peter’s moment of doubt:
And when the disciples saw him walking on the
sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. But
straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not
afraid. And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto
thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the
ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind
boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save
me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said
unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?[4]
I
suppose the Savior could have left the sinking Peter to struggle in order to
teach him a lesson. But He didn’t. He immediately and compassionately “stretched
forth His hand, and caught him.” Elder Neal A. Maxwell eloquently described what
ought to be our compassionate response to others in distress, “When, for the
moment, we ourselves are not being stretched on a particular cross, we ought to
be at the foot of someone else’s—full of empathy and proffering spiritual
refreshment.”[5]
This is how the Savior responded. He showed compassion, not just during times
of convenience, but while He was grief-stricken and dejected, and even more
touching toward the end of his life, while He Himself was being stretched on a
cross.[6]
When we
see a loved one struggling with doubt, we should respond with compassion, just
as the Savior did when Peter doubted. Elder Richard G. Scott reminded us of the
power of showing compassion and love to others when we want to help them:
We must be sure to sincerely love those we want
to help in righteousness so they can begin to develop confidence in God’s love.
…Remember, loving them is the powerful
foundation for influencing those you want to help.
As a companion to that love, trust them. In some
cases it may seem difficult to trust, but find some way to trust them…Every
child of God in mortality chose the Savior’s plan. Trust that given the
opportunity, they will do so again.[7]
Compassion,
love, and trust are key qualities of a Christ-like character. A compassionate,
loving, and trusting response to those who are doubting can go a long way in
helping them work through their doubts. People experiencing doubts often feel
unworthy or sinful. Showing compassion, rather than being judgmental, can give
them confidence that they are ok, that they have someone who understands and
who will patiently walk beside them as they work through their troubling doubts.
Jesus compassionately treated those who were experiencing doubts. We should
follow His example.
Our
compassion toward those who are doubting can be brought to the forefront of our
behavior by remembering two things. First, doubts are evidence of belief. A
person must believe in something in order to have a doubt about it. Second, as
Elder Scott counsels, the person with doubts once chose to follow God’s plan.
Therefore, we can trust that our loved ones who are doubting still possess a
spark of belief and, consequently, may still be inclined to once again choose
God’s plan just as they did in premortality.
Compassion
stems from understanding. The more we know about the person and understand their
circumstances, the more compassion we’ll have for their struggle with doubt. People
don’t just wake up one morning and decide to leave the Church. President Dieter
F. Uchtdorf taught “Some of our dear members struggle for years with the
question whether they should separate themselves from the Church.”[8]
Those years can be agonizing and our compassion can help ease their agony.
In the
summer of 2013, just after I gave a presentation at BYU Education week on
dealing with doubts, I received a phone call from a man who had left the Church.
He had seen a news article about my presentation and wanted to share his
experiences with me. He told me that it took him years to decide to leave the
Church. He remained active in attending church but was inactive in his beliefs
about the truthfulness of the Church. He described to me how he agonized for
years over whether or not he should leave the Church. The Church was not only
his religion, but it was his culture, his history, his personality, and indeed
a part of who he was. Can you imagine the anguish and distress this type of
decision caused him?
We don’t
want anyone to leave the Church, especially at those critical moments of doubt
when there is so much in the Church that could help. But, it may come to the
unfortunate point when, as we’ve been reminded by President Uchtdorf, we must respect
the agency of those who doubt. “It may break our hearts,” he said, “when their
journey takes them away from the Church we love and the truth we have found,
but we honor their right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of
their own conscience, just as we claim that privilege for ourselves.”[9]
Let’s do all we can to help those experiencing doubts before they get to that
point.
The
story of the man on the phone is an unfortunate one. I pray that it is an
anomaly to our general behavior as Saints. He related to me some of the things
that happened once he decided to leave the Church. He knew he was not being
faithful to the covenants he made in the temple and so he worried that wearing
the temple garment was hypocritical. When he decided to stop wearing the garment,
he was criticized by at least one member for being hypocritical. This was
surely a difficult “no-win” situation for him.
He
recounted how, once he stopped attending church, the behavior of his family and
neighbors who were members of the Church changed. His children were not invited
to family activities, he was no longer invited to neighborhood golf outings,
and anonymous persons left Church magazines, with specific articles marked for
him to read, on his doorstep in the night. He described one Christmas season
when an empty plate wrapped in plastic with a card was left on his doorstep.
The note on the card read something like, “Just as this plate is empty of sweet-tasting
treats, so you’re eternity will be empty of sweet things if you remain
inactive.” None of these behaviors helped. All of them made it easier for my
phone-calling friend to stay away from those he once thought were his friends
and the Church he once embraced.
Hopefully,
this kind of episode in the history of our collective behavior as members of
the Lord’s Church is rare. The Savior withheld judgment and criticism and
showed compassion to those who were doubting, and we should too.
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