Sources of Doubt (6 of 7): Sin and Spiritual Apathy

          Sin and spiritual apathy make of our souls fertile soil where doubt can thrive uncontested. Both separate us from divine inspiration. When we severe ourselves from divine guidance, we are left with only our natural abilities to combat the supernatural powers of the adversary. Presented with such a scenario, my children would declare, “Game over!” Without the heavenly help provided to us by a loving God and Savior, we are doomed to failure. When it comes to finding truth, nothing in this world can compensate for a lack of divine guidance. As President Dieter F. Uchtdorf told a group of historians, “Those who disregard the reality of heaven will ultimately find themselves on the wrong side of history.”[1] While sin and spiritual apathy are different, they produce the same result – a loss of the Spirit.

Sin Dims Our Spiritual Vision

            Sin is the “willful disobedience of God’s commandments.”[2] As the Savior’s half-brother James proclaimed, “to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.”[3] It was made clear to the Prophet Joseph Smith that when we sin and then “undertake to cover our sins…the heavens withdraw themselves” and “the Spirit of the Lord is grieved.”[4] Make no mistake about it, there are eternal laws which, when broken, bring consequences. Most often those consequences revolve around a withdrawal of the Spirit. We cannot afford to buy into the world’s notion that God “will justify in committing a little sin.”[5]

Sin blinds us. It causes us to walk “in darkness at noon-day.”[6] We may still see with our natural eyes, but our spiritual sight becomes dim. We can even reach a degree of spiritual darkness where we see as evil things we once saw as good. I have witnessed the almost inexplicable phenomenon of a person who once loved the Lord, His Church, and His servants, transform into one who disbelieved in God, saw the Church as corrupt and fraudulent, fought against the Brethren, and attempted to sway others to leave the Church also. Inevitably, when the full story of these precious souls comes to light, it frequently, but not always, includes committing sin somewhere along the way. “If you keep not my commandments,” said the Lord, “you shall walk in darkness.”[7]

To a certain degree, the Prophet Joseph Smith experienced spiritual darkness on one occasion. David Whitmer described the incident:

One morning when [Joseph Smith] was getting ready to continue the translation, something went wrong about the house and he was put out about it. Something that Emma, his wife, had done. Oliver and I went up stairs, and Joseph came up soon after to continue the translation, but he could not do anything. He could not translate a single syllable. He went down stairs, out into the orchard and made supplication to the Lord; was gone about an hour—came back to the house, asked Emma’s forgiveness and then came up stairs where we were and the translation went on all right. He could do nothing save he was humble and faithful.[8]

Joseph obviously had not committed a grave sin, but whatever it was that got him “put out” was enough to dim his spiritual capacity. Our individual disobedience, if left unchecked through faith on Jesus Christ and repentance, can likewise darken our spiritual vision. The scriptures testify on more than one occasion of “a light which shineth in darkness,” but “the darkness comprehendeth it not” [9] – a most unhappy and unfortunate circumstance for our doubting friends and loved ones who need to see “things as they really are.”[10]

In a letter published January 22, 1834, Joseph Smith and other leaders wrote, “There is a superior intelligence bestowed upon such as obey the Gospel with full purpose of heart, which, if sinned against,” leave us “naked and destitute of the Spirit of God.”[11] Let us fully embrace the “superior intelligence” that God so generously bestows on us and strive to avoid sinning against it. Happily, while the Prophet taught that “God does not look on sin with allowance,” he further declared that, “when men have sinned, there must be allowance made for them.”[12] That allowance is made available through the atonement of Jesus Christ[13] and it includes the doctrine of repentance, which restores our spiritual sight, dispels the darkness, and permits the Holy Ghost to return as our “constant companion.”[14]

Spiritual Apathy Obstructs the Channels of Spiritual Communication

Spiritual apathy is best described as a lack of diligence in spiritual matters. While sin commonly involves things we do that we shouldn’t, spiritual apathy largely constitutes things we don’t do that we should. However, it is crucial to realize that the spiritually apathetic experience the same consequence as the sinner – a loss of the Spirit. In Lehi’s vision of the tree, the people who apathetically “wandered off,” experienced the same outcome as those who deliberately “fell away into forbidden paths” – both “were lost.”[15]

I know a man who characterized his conversion as a rigorous study of Church doctrine, discussions, pondering, and praying. Later in his life he became somewhat apathetic and slackened in his enthusiasm for consistent, ponderous gospel study. With the devious help of anti-Mormon literature and the subtly eroding influence of non-religious friends, his tenacity in Church activity waned. Doubt naturally followed his spiritual apathy. Insightfully, he realized that he was using his doubt about the Church to justify his inactivity. He erroneously reasoned, “If the negative things I hear about Joseph Smith are true, I don’t need to be faithful to the Church or my calling.”

Once he realized what he was doing, he began anew his rigorous study of the gospel. Before long, he felt a refortification of his testimony and was able to see the fallacy of the anti-Mormon literature. As an active member today, he will tell you that his testimony of the truth did not come as a flash – all at once – but rather from small internal feelings of assurance here and there along the way as he studied broadly, reasoned things out, pondered, prayed, and received spiritual confirmations.

Both sin and spiritual apathy damage the channels of divine communication. Our “iniquities have separated” us from God, declared Isaiah, and “have hid his face from” us “that he will not hear.”[16] They have “withholden good things from us” affirmed the prophet Jeremiah.[17]  The venerated King Benjamin explained that we withdraw ourselves “from the Spirit of the Lord, that it may have no place in [us] to guide [us] in wisdom’s paths” if we “transgress and go contrary to” the will of the Lord.”[18]

President Henry B. Eyring described the anesthetizing effect that sin and spiritual apathy inflict upon us:

“I have heard the boast of a man who walked away from the Church slowly, at first just ceasing to teach his Sunday School class and then staying away from Church and then forgetting tithing now and then. Along the way he would say to me: “I feel just as spiritual as I did before I stopped those things and just as much at peace. Besides, I enjoy Sundays more than I did; it’s more a day of rest.” Or, “I think I’ve been blessed temporally as much or more as I was when I was paying tithing.” He could not sense the difference, but I could. The light in his eyes and even the shine in his countenance were dimming. He could not tell, since one of the effects of disobeying God seems to be the creation of just enough spiritual anesthetic to block any sensation as the ties to God are being cut. Not only did the testimony of truth slowly erode, but even the memories of what it was like to be in the light began to seem to him like a delusion.”[19]

The best thing we can do when doubt about the Church stems from our being entangled[20] in sin or spiritual apathy is to remember the Savior, whose “soul has been made an offering for sin”[21] and who “taketh away the sin of the world.”[22] The almost unfathomable promise God gives us is “that every soul who forsaketh his sins…shall see my face and know that I am.”[23] There is something quite miraculous, almost inexplicable about remembering the Savior often in our lives. As we do so, there seems to be a return of the Spirit accompanied by a yearning to study God’s word. This in turn inspires and urges us to pray. Prayer draws us closer to God who endows with a desire to obey his commandments, which in turn grants us a greater portion of the Spirit. This cyclical pattern leaves little room for doubt to spawn.

When our loved ones doubt, we must find a way to lovingly ask them to assess whether or not their doubt is the result of sin or spiritual apathy. This is a delicate matter and will require our most charitable selves. It must be done devoid of a judgmental attitude. We cannot afford to practice “unrighteousness in judgment”[24] at a time when they need spiritual nurturing. We are admonished to “execute true judgment” while simultaneously “shew mercy and compassions.”[25] God “looketh on the heart”[26] of His children when judging and when our children or friends experience doubt, we must do the same. They will need our genuine sympathy, our finest affections, and our loving support as they strive to forsake sin or overcome spiritual apathy in order to reclaim the gift of the Holy Ghost. It will be worth our every effort to help them succeed in this endeavor for there are few things more spiritually refreshing than a return of the Spirit.

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[1] “Seeing Beyond the Leaf,” address at the BYU Church History Symposium, Salt Lake City, March 7, 2014.

[2] “Sin,” Guide to the Scriptures: https://www.lds.org/scriptures/gs/sin?lang=eng&letter=s.

[3] James 4:17.

[4] Doctrine and Covenants 121:37.

[5] 2 Nephi 28:8

[6] Doctrine and Covenants 95:6.

[7] Doctrine and Covenants 95:12.

[8] Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, p. 116.

[9] John 1:5; Doctrine and Covenants 6:1; 34:2; 45:7.

[10] Jacob 4:13; Doctrine and Covenants 93:24.

[11] Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, p. 321; originally published in Evening and Morning Star, April 1834, p. 152.

[12] Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, p. 428.

[13] Isaiah 1:18; Matthew 26:28; Mosiah 14:12; Doctrine and Covenants 27:2.

[14] Doctrine and Covenants 121:46.

[15] 1 Nephi 8:23, 28.

[16] Isaiah 59:2.

[17] Jeremiah 5:25.

[18] Mosiah 2:36.

[19] Henry B. Eyring, “A Life Founded in Light and Truth,” Ensign July 2001

[20] Doctrine and Covenants 88:86.

[21] Mosiah 15:10.

[22] John 1:29.

[23] Doctrine and Covenants 93:1.

[24] Leviticus 19:15.

[25] Zechariah 7:9.

[26] 1 Samuel 16:7; see also Jeremiah 17:10.

Sources of Doubt (5 of 7): Differences of Opinion and Unsettling Interactions with Church Leaders and Members

When I arrived in Tarija, Bolivia in April 1977 as a young missionary there were five people at Church on Sunday—two sister missionaries, my companion and me, and one 18-year old young single adult sister. Many months before I arrived, there were two thriving branches in the city. I was told that during a meeting a difference of opinion over doctrine led to an argument and ultimately erupted into a fistfight. Virtually all of the once faithful members left the church that day and stayed away. In time, with the inestimable help of the Lord, we were able to rebuild the congregations. But it was a stark lesson to me that differences of strongly held opinions can inflame emotions to the point that once believing souls leave the Church.

I witnessed a similar situation on a historical society’s website where an affable academic debate deteriorated into ad hominem and name-calling. Otherwise intelligent individuals became angry over a difference of opinion. Our emotions are so naturally intertwined with our personal opinions, particularly when it comes to religion. Differences of opinion can cause feelings of brotherly kindness to fade and open the way for doubt to spontaneously emerge before we can reconcile our differences.

Jesus Chirst witnessed this phenomenon when He taught the people to believe on Him. A debate developed because of the diverse opinions about the Savior and, as John records, “there was a division among the people because of him…and every man went unto his own house.”[1]

I have found it hard in my life on occasion to accept another’s point of view, especially when doing so means I may have to admit I was wrong. That experience can be embarrassing and engender a desire to disassociate from the Church, even if we still believe it is true.

Another occurrence, perhaps more common than we’d like to think, is experiencing interactions with Church leaders that leave us unsettled or hurt. Before the festering feelings are soothed, we begin to doubt the need for our membership in the Church and question the benefit of mingling with other Saints. Along this line of thinking, President Gordon B. Hinckley related the following experience:

Sixty-three years ago, while serving as a missionary in the British Isles, my companion and I taught, and it was my pleasure to baptize, a young man. He was well educated. He was refined. He was studious. I was so proud of this gifted young man who had come into the Church. I felt he had all of the qualifications someday to become a leader among our people.

…He was given a small responsibility in the branch in London. He knew nothing of what was expected of him. He made a mistake. The head of the organization where he served was a man I can best describe as being short on love and strong on criticism. In a rather unmerciful way, he went after my friend who had made the simple mistake.

The young man left our rented hall that night smarting and hurt by his superior officer. He said to himself, “If that is the kind of people they are, then I am not going back.”

He drifted into inactivity.

…The years passed. I grew older as did he. He retired from his work and moved to Switzerland. On one occasion when I was in Switzerland, I went out of my way to find the village where he lived. We spent the better part of a day together—he, his wife, my wife, and myself. We had a wonderful time, but it was evident that the fire of faith had long since died. I tried every way I knew, but I could not find a way to rekindle it. I continued my correspondence. I sent him books, magazines, recordings of the Tabernacle Choir, and other things for which he expressed appreciation.

He died a few months ago. His wife wrote me to inform me of this. She said, “You were the best friend he ever had.”

Tears coursed my cheeks when I read that letter. I knew I had failed. Perhaps if I had been there to pick him up when he was first knocked down, he might have made a different thing of his life. I think I could have helped him then. I think I could have dressed the wound from which he suffered. I have only one comfort: I tried. I have only one sorrow: I failed.[2]

            It is true that when Church leaders lead in “any degree of unrighteousness” their leadership style tends to “persecute the saints.”[3] While it is vital that leaders lead with a special combination of love and doctrinal accuracy, perhaps we would be more apt to remain faithful to the Lord and stay in His Church if we remembered that neither leaders nor members are perfect. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland reminded us of this:

Be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we. And when you see imperfection, remember that the limitation is not in the divinity of the work.[4]

The prolific author and speaker, Sheri Dew, once told of her splendid as well as bewildering experiences with priesthood and auxiliary leaders and then recounted some wise counsel she had received from an apostle:

Years ago, Elder Marvin J. Ashton of the Quorum of the Twelve said to me in a moment of private mentoring, “Sheri, don’t ever allow yourself to be offended by someone who is learning his job.” It took a while for me to realize how comprehensive his counsel was, because as lay servant-leaders whose jobs rotate regularly, most of us are often in the process of “learning our jobs.” Elder Ashton’s wisdom has helped me look past difficult episodes and learn from rather than agonize over them.[5]

I was once in a meeting with Elder Jay E. Jensen who, upon hearing me acknowledge that I had made a mistake on a project, simply said to me, “Don’t you just hate it when your mortality shows.” It was a simple reminder, from a graciously loving leader who I esteemed highly, that we are all mortals and will, from time to time, make mistakes. The reality of our mortality should help us be more tolerant and forgiving toward one another, including, and maybe especially, toward the leaders of the Church.

You might be able to use the counsel from Elders Holland, Ashton, and Jensen to help your doubting friends and family realize that imperfect people in the Church do not negate its truthfulness. Lovingly explain that it is better to persevere through persecution than to leave the very organization the Lord provided for them to gain eternal life. No other organization on earth has the priesthood authority, nor the fullness of the gospel as explained in the Book of Mormon, nor living prophets, etc. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is “the only true and living church upon the face of the earth.”[6] That is not a statement stemming from an arrogant attitude. It’s from the Lord after all. But it does underscore the need for all of us to believe in and stay with God’s divinely restored Church, even if some of its members and leaders are less than Christlike.

Leaving the Church is not the answer. Figure out how you can lovingly and kindly help people who are doubting because of troubling encounters with others understand that leaving the Church will not help. This will be hard for them because you are basically asking them to continue to mingle with the very people that hurt them. But, Brigham Young provided a great perspective about staying in the Church by likening the Church to a ship in the ocean when a storm arises:

We are on the “Old Ship Zion.” We are in the midst of the ocean. A storm comes on, and, as sailors say, she labors very hard. “I am not going to stay here,” says one; “I don’t believe this is the ‘Ship Zion.’” “But we are in the midst of the ocean.” “I don’t care, I am not going to stay here.” Off goes the coat, and he jumps overboard. Will he not be drowned? Yes. So with those who leave this Church. It is the “Old Ship Zion,” let us stay in it.[7]

You might try helping your family and friends who have been hurt by the words or behavior of a Church leader to find strength in realizing that the Savior, too, had to mingle constantly with people who hurt Him, including the church leaders of His day. While He did not entrust himself to everyone,[8] He had to associate regularly, including on the Sabbath, with those who mistreated Him.[9]

The Savior warned his apostles that they would be scourged and beaten in their own church buildings.[10] Jesus himself was severely persecuted on the Sabbath and in the synagogues for teaching the truth and doing good deeds. On one occasion the synagogue’s congregants “were offended in him.”[11] On another occasion, after the Savior healed a man on the Sabbath in a church building, some sought to “destroy him.”[12] If that is not inconceivable enough, on still another occasion, and this time in His hometown, He interpreted Isaiah (an utter miracle in and of itself!) and bore a powerful testimony of His divine Sonship. Tragically, His neighbors and fellow-churchgoers not only deflected the spirit of the sermon, but were “filled with wrath…and thrust him out of the city, and led him unto the brow of the hill whereon their city was built, that they might cast him down headlong.”[13]

After all this and more, which occurred almost weekly, Jesus continued faithfully attending church. Each week, despite how He was perceived and treated by other so-called friends and church members, He showed up to worship God. As in all things, He set the example for those of us who have been mistreated or offended by church leaders or members. He literally practiced what he preached: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.”[14]

It might help, when doubt arises because we feel persecuted by leaders or other members, to compare the infinitesimally great antagonism the Savior endured to the negligible unfriendliness we occasionally encounter. My own endurance mettle is reinvigorated when I look “unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame” of it. When we “consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself” we are able to avoid being “wearied and faint in [our] minds.” With this special type of Christ-centered introspection we quickly realize that we “have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin” as Jesus so faithfully and willingly did.[15]

Besides, where will we go if we leave the Church? At a time when “many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him” Jesus asked His twelve apostles, “Will ye also go away?” You must find a way, find the reasoning, and prayerfully seek for the words to help your loved ones who are troubled with doubt answer the way Peter did: “Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life.”[16] God has entrusted The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints not only with the words of eternal life, but with God’s priesthood authority to perform sacred saving ordinances. Together, these God-given forces for good will save the whole world from all its ills. Why would anyone want to leave the Church, knowing this? Where else would one find salvation and happiness even though we may be in the momentary midst of a few discourteous and insensible members?

Additional courage to persevere in the Church after disheartening interactions with members and leaders has come to me by reading, on a regular basis, Paul’s counsel to the Saints in Rome when he advised them to “live peaceably with all men” and then recommended:

“Avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”[17]

It might seem like a bit of an odd perspective, but it inspires me to remain faithful to the Lord and stay active in His Church when I remember that returning good for evil is like heaping “coals of fire” on the head of the one who persecuted me. While at first this may seem cruel, it is actually a good thing. Coals of fire are used to purify, refine, and to make more pliable in order to shape metal into something useful. It is another way of saying that my Christlike behavior, in the face of persecution from leaders or others, can actually help them to be purified, refined, and made more pliable before the Lord so He has a better chance of helping change their behavior. If I “let [my] light so shine before men, that they may see [my] good works,”[18] especially when I experience mistreatment, they just might be more willing to alter their behavior toward me, and others.

President Boyd K. Packer once warned that we would, “see many things that will try [our] courage and test [our] faith. All of the mocking does not come from outside of the Church. Let me say that again: All of the mocking does not come from outside of the Church.”[19] Remind your friends and loved ones who doubt that some adversity will be generated within the Church. While not ideal, it is nonetheless something we must all apparently accept. But, perhaps knowing that internal mocking is inevitable, our friends and loved ones will be less surprised and shocked, which in turn may help them defend against doubt that may beckon them to believe less and become less active.

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[1] John 7:43 (37–53).

[2] “Converts and Young Men,” Ensign, May 1997, p. 47.

[3] Doctrine and Covenants 121:36–38.

[4] “Lord, I Believe,” Ensign, May 2013, p. 94.

[5] Women and the Priesthood: What One Mormon Woman Believes, [2013], Chapter 6, electronic version.

[6] Doctrine and Covenants 1:30.

[7] Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, [1997], 82–83; see also Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 85.

[8] John 2:24; footnote 24a tells us that the original Greek word could also be translated as “entrust.”

[9] John 5:16.

[10] Matthew 10:17; Mark 13:9.

[11] Matthew 13:54-58.

[12] Matthew 12:1, 9-14.

[13] Luke 4:15-30.

[14] Matthew 5:44.

[15] Hebrews 12:2–4.

[16] John 6:66–69.

[17] Romans 12:19–21.

[18] Matthew 5:16; 3 Nephi 12:16.

[19] “Lehi’s Dream and You,” BYU Devotional, January 16, 2007; https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/packer-boyd-k_lehis-dream/; see also New Era, January 2015, p. 5.